Monday, October 15, 2012

Achilles Stiletto, Sex and Feminsim

On a chilly damp afternoon a handful of activists huddled in a small park pavilion to discuss Important Issues of the Day. The group was mixed by gender and race (although predominately white and majority male) and among the topics was the role of women in activism. As we often do we digressed into the larger subject of Feminism as it is perceived through the lens of each participant. "Feminism" as a topic is pretty broad subject, if you will pardon the pun, and the conversation was initially intended to pose the question of how to get more women involved in activism. In the process of brainstorming the conversation turned to examining potential barriers that exist which may prevent women from participating.
Ultimately these conversations frequently boil down to the same stuff, the different and sometimes conflicting views of what it means to be a feminist. It is both amusing and frustrating that most women I know agree that we all share the same basic desire and goal, to be treated equally and respectfully as co-creators of culture and society. It's the definition of what it means to be a "productive member of society" and the means by which this is accomplished that gets the whole movement gummed up. I believe it is our dualistic all or nothing thinking that gets in the way. That, and the most favored target of that kind of thinking-sex.
How is it that some women insist it is their right to dress "slutty" (and it is) and yet these same women look down their noses at their sisters in the sex trade? How is it that women, often those who are powerful advocates for workers rights, fail to take seriously the formation of worker managed unions in the sex trade? Why is it that a Woman's right to chose doesn't address the way we give birth when we chose to do so?
Sex and sexuality (including reproduction) is probably our most vulnerable place, our Achilles heel, or Achilles stiletto if you will. Personally at age 54 I no longer have a desire to dress provocatively, but when I was younger yes, I enjoyed playing dress up. I think there is far too much emphasis on how we dress and with whom or how often we have sex than on who we are in the remaining hours and days of our lives.
But it makes perfect sense in our culture that this is the ring in which the fight gets dirty. It is the place we as women are the most competitive, jealous and insecure. All the images of sexuality that are used to sell products are a training ground on the lessons of "how to get a man" which translates to how to 'win out' over the competition.
We are affected by these images from the time we are old enough to notice advertising, or catch a glimpse of Cosmo  in the grocery store checkout line as our little girl hands reach innocently for the candy that is placed right next to the magazine rack. Daytime television is packed with hour after hour of 'real life paternity testing' and women physically fighting over who gets the winner of said test, while the men who have been cleared of parental responsibility jump, dance and gloat as the audience chants "whore, whore, whore". The winner gets the babydaddy, the loser the bastard child and is therefore somehow less desirable a woman and mother.
What kind of a society does that? The producers of these shows claim they are only giving the viewers what they want, as if they are providing some kind of public service.
Ok so these examples represent the commercialized lowest common denominator of society and most of us activists like to think we are above and beyond all that (even though I'm sure it seeps in on a subliminal level especially in the early formative years). I'm even more disturbed by what I hear coming from the so called sophisticated echelons of society. The academic world has never been the pinnacle of objectivity it claims to be and this is especially evident in Social and Cultural studies. Based on my experiences over 20 years ago and what I'm hearing from current students, professors of womens' studies are not immune to their own personal bias and no matter how subtle the delivery, they pass those biases onto their students. And then there is always the Flavor of the Month, the favored theoretical perspective, of any given era.
Thankfully, I couldn't tell you what it is this year. But I can tell you I have some concerns that it hasn't yet risen above that elitist, entitled framework that has produced most theories for...well forever most likely.
By the end of our conversation yesterday there seemed to be one uniting belief that we need to talk to one another openly and respectfully within a safe environment. This would be an environment where all former beliefs and preconceptions are left at the door, from Jerry Springer to Womens' Issues in Contemporary Society. In order to be safe we need to walk through that door with open hearts and minds, and with the knowledge that we are in the same ring fighting the same battle...and we are not the enemy.
2012, Jennifer Hazard

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